See Through Me: May 2008

As I was cleaning my room this morning [I know this sounds weird, but, I did so], I saw some pieces of paper at my study table. It has been a couple of months since I last cleaned it. Actually, I never minded the disarray I was making for the last months of school because I didn't really expect to be that busy. I had no time to be Little Miss Organized. I saw three things. First, a recollection letter that my cousin lent me, so that I could read and reflect on it well. Second, an essay I made when I was still in Level 6. Lastly, a story a best friend gave me just last school year. I set aside those so I could finish cleaning first be cause my whole body ached badly. After finishing my work, I immediately jumped to bed and planned to set off to dreamland. As I was about to put my lights off, I saw the three pieces of paper - there, beside my pillows. I went back to bed and read each one. I was so inspired that I planned to post those here. Here goes:

The Flat Tire [the one Von, my cousin gave me]

My tire had a staple in it. Of all times for this to happen - a flat tire. But when is a good time for a flat tire? Not when you are wearing a suit and you have been traveling for nearly five hours and, adding to this bleak picture, nightfall is approaching.

Wait; did I mention that I was on a country road? Okay, now you have the picture. There was only one thing to do: call AAA. Yeah, right. The cell phone I bought for security and protection in moments like this isn't in range to call anyone. "No Service" it says. No kidding!

I sat for a few minutes moaning and complaining. It's a male thing. Then, I began emptying my trunk so that I could get at the tire and tools needed to get the job done. I carry a large plastic container filled with what I call "just-in-case-stuff." When I am training or speaking, I love to have props with me. I hate leaving anything home so I bring everything... just in case.

Cars buzz by me. A few beep sarcastically. I hear the horn saying, "Ha ha!", I say, "You'll get yours!". Darkness begins to settle in. It's becoming a bit difficult to see. The tire is on the passenger side, thank God, away from all the traffic, but making it difficult to benefit from the headlights of the passing cars.

Suddenly, a car pulls off the road behind me. In the blinding light, I see a male figure approaching me. "Hey, do you need any help?", "Well, it certainly isn't easy to doing this with a white dress shirt and suit on," I said. Then he steps into the light. I literally was frightened.

This young guy was dressed in black. Nearly everything imaginable was pierced and tattooed. His hair was cropped and poorly cut. He had leather bracelets with spikes on each wrist. "How about I give you a hand?", he said. "Well, I don't know . . . I think I can . . ." , "Come on, it will only take me a few minutes." He took right over. While watching him, I happened to look back at his car and noticed for the first time someone sitting in the passenger's seat. That concerned me. I suddenly felt outnumbered. Thoughts of car-jackings and robberies flashed through my mind. I really just wanted to get this over with and survive it.

Then, without warning, it began to pour. The night sky had hidden the approaching clouds. It hit like waterfall and made it impossible to finish the tire change. "Look, my friend, just stop what you're doing. I appreciate all your help. You better get going. I'll finish after the rain stops." I said.

"Let me help you put your stuff back in the trunk. They will get ruined," he insisted. "Then, get in my car. We'll wait with you," he insisted. "No really. I'll take care of everything," I said.

"You can't get in the car with the jack up like that. It will fall. Come on. Get in," he said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the car. Crack! Boom! Lightning and thunder roared like a freight train. I literally jumped in his car. "Oh, God, protect me!" I thought to myself.

Wet and tired, I settled into the back seat. Suddenly, a small frail voice came from the front seat of the car. "Are you all right?" she said as she turned around to face me. "Yes, I am," I replied with much relief seeing the old woman there. She must be his Mom.

"My name is Beatrice and this is my neighbor Jeff," she said. "He insisted on stopping when he saw you struggling with the tire." "I am grateful for his help," I said. "Me, too!" she said with a laugh. "Jeff takes me to visit my husband.

We had to place him in a nursing home and it's about 30 minutes away from where we live. So, ebery Monday, Wednesday and Friday, we have a date." She laughed and shook her head.

"We're the remake of the Odd Couple," Jeff said as he joined in laughing.

"Jeff, that's incredible, what you do for her. I would never have guessed, well, ah, you know I . . ." I stumbled with the words.

"I know. People who look like me don't do nice things," he said. Silence. I really felt uncomfortable. I never believed that I judged people by the way they dressed. I was angry with myself for being so stupid.

"Jeff is a great kid. I'm not the only one he helps. He's a volunteer at our church. He also works with the kids in the learning center at the low housing income in our town," said Beatrice.

"I'm a tutor," Jeff said quietly as he stared at my car. Silence again played a part now in a moment of reflection rather than the uncomfortable feeling that I had insulted someone. He was right. What he wore on the outside was a reflection of the world as he saw it. What he wore on the inside was the spirit of giving, caring and loving the world he wanted to see.

The rain stopped and Jeff and I changed the tire. I tried to offer him money and of course, he refused it. As we shook hands, I began to apologize for my stupidity. He said, "I experience that same reflection often. I actually thought about changing the way I look. But the I saw this is an opportunity to make a point. So I'll leave you with the same quaestion I ask everone who takes time to know me:

"If Jesus returned tomorrow and walked amons us again, would you recognize Him by what He wore or by what He did?"

This Made Me Smile [the one Jane,a best friend gave me]

She jumped as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room.

She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care anymore? Where were You, God, when my son needed You?"

The surgeon aked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the univeraity."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said goodbye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?", the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else. I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.'"

She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of the Children's Mercy Hospital for the last tim, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house.

She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hairto her son's room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded piece of paper. The letter said:

"Dear Mom,

I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say "I LOVE YOU". I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us, boys do. You'lla have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures yet, when I saw him, I knew it was Him. Jesus Himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what, Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the quaestions You asked Him. "Where was He when I needed him?"; God said He was in the same place with me, as when His Son, Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else, this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight, I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure, the food will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you... I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couln't stand the pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent the Angel of Mercy to come get me. The angel said I was a special delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & me.

Journey of Life [the one I wrote when I was in Level 6]

When I was young, I thought I would live forever. As time passes by, I learned that there will be a time that I will need to leave my family and friends. Days became years, and I continued to learn. I learned to live without a silver spoon in my mouth.

Here I am, still learning, Everyday, I face challenges and I overcome every obstacle in my life. I learned to love life because I only borrowed it from God. In each and every day I face, I put a smile on my face and begin my day with happiness. I learned to be sensitive and sensible so as not to hurt anyone's feelings. I played safe.

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. At first, you'll be complete. Then, something will impede you and nearly ruin your life. But, one day, someone will find you and help you. That is God.

Lastly, consider yourself as a caterpillar, the leaves, your nourishment, and the cocoon your impediment to become a full-grown butterfly. You will not be a butterfly without the leaves that stand as your food, and without the cocoon that will help you change into a butterfly.

In life, there are no super heroes and villains. Leave it all to God. Everything will turn out right.

The ones marked in bold-style are the lines that touched my heart most. :)