Clarisa is not herself lately.

I'll be very honest with you. I haven't been myself for days. I've been changing and too bad, I think it's for the worse. Darn! [I just learned it's not a form of blasphemy or profanity or anything like that, because it's an interjection. So, just so you know, I'd use it from now on.] Okay, I really think I'm becoming a person I don't want to be. I'm becoming really sad - which is unforgivable to me. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I haven't been sad or the like. I have been, yes. But, I never felt this way. I've never been this sad. The long-term one. When I become sad, one simple thing can make me happy. But now, things are completely different. I can't be happy. I tend to smile, laugh. But, that's it. That's JUST it. My friends often try to make me smile. I do, for their sake. I'm becoming pretentious. I despise myself. I resent myself. I hate myself. Only the few of the fewest know what's been bothering me. It's nothing related to matters of the heart or family or friends or grades - which are usually the cause of my desolation. It's just about me. I don't know what's happening to me.

Clarisa VS. Crystal Glass Bead

I am a crystal glass bead that is transparent in color, fragile, delicate, and must be handled with care, one of a kind, and shines brightly when touched by light. A crystal glass bead is transparent, which means you can see through it and what you see from the outside is what you will also see from the inside. Likewise, I am transparent, what you see from the outside is what I am inside. I am a person that is true to myself and to other people as well. I do not hide my true self to others and I let them see what’s deep inside me, the good side of me, together with the bad side. I don’t pretend to be someone I know I can never be for the purpose of deceiving others. I am what I am. A crystal glass bead is breakable and one simple negligent action can lead to its complete destruction. I am vulnerable. I am too sensitive and I often get too emotional and moody. I get emotionally-drained to fast. Sometimes, I just want to keep myself from everybody so that I can be isolated from the ones that try to hurt me, but I never notice that by doing this, I isolate the ones that truly love me and mean no harm to me. I am like a crystal bead that is hard to find. In the same way, I am one of a kind. I am matchless and I know I can never be replaced. I believe in my own beauty, knowledge, attitude, and achievements in life and for me, that is what really makes a girl like me unique and can never be copied by just anyone in this world. I am what I am and I believe that God created me different from everyone. Lastly, a crystal bead shines brighter when touched by light. I am truly like a crystal bead. I know and believe that I shine brighter when God is with me. I know I can do nothing and achieve nothing without Him by my side. I deeply believe in God and I know many people will like me more because I am a far better person when God is around to guide me in my journey in life. I love the way I am and I am truly grateful to God for making me a person that is precisely what I ever wanted to be. Ü

Jellymuffin

Guys. I just wanted to share some of my favorite graphic quotes to you from my favorite website for getting graphics, JellyMuffin. =)

























































































That's all. I hope you loved these, too. =)

Promises

It's already been a long time since we had vacation. Tomorrow, we will have to start classes again. I'm having mixed emotions. I'm excited to go back to school, see my friends, and get busy once again. But, I also have this feeling. I'm nervous. I don't want to spoil my coming back to school by knowing my grades in the past exams which I know I did not perform that well. Anyway, it's ok. It's my fault, anyway. I just can't wait to see until classes start again!

In relation to my coming back to school, here is a list of things that I might do so take note:

• I will have to return my phone to my parents or I get to keep them without load. I promise to reply if the matter's urgent, anyway.
• I will limit myself from using the computer. Not unless, I will use it for schooling purposes such as research and communication for my groupmates. No YM. No Friendster. No Blogger.
• I will limit myself from watching the television. Well, it's easy since I rarely get to watch anyway, with all the load of stuff I need to do.
• I will go home early unless I have some things and requirements to meet in school like club meetings and band practices.
• I will do chores if I have time.
• I will try to budget my time wisely by doing more important things first rather than the less important ones.
• I will study harder. This means, even if I don't have any assignment on a particular subject, I still need to study for it in advance unless I have no time at all.
• I will eat well during recess time and lunch time.
• I will eat fast so I can study after doing so.
• I will write all my assignments in my assignment notebook so that I can never forget all the things I need to do. I seriously hate cramming. That's not my kind of thing.
• I will read more for my vocabulary.
• And the most important, I'll never go home without going to our school chapel to thank God for my supportive family, my understanding friends, and of course, for all the blessings that He has been showering to me and my loved ones.

I, Clarisa Castillo Reyes, promise to do all of these so that I can be a better person. =)

As of now, this will be my last post for the week. [I think.] I'll post next week if I have time. Ciao, guys!

Outing in Malvar. Two years back.

--> They are HUNGRY. =P
--> Wa! He's... absurd?!
--> It was a tiring but fun-filled day. ^__^ I enjoyed!
--> Caught in the act!
--> The moon shines brightly. =)

--> Haha... in my bathrobe. =)
--> I am dead serious. It's hard to brush my hair!!
--> Let's play basketball!!
--> Good singers, they are. Father and son. ^__^
--> They are a happy couple. =]

--> Kuya Raf. He's the son of Tita Marlyn. He's really a good artist. Very talented!
--> Tito Ronald. The husband of Tita Marlyn, he is. He calls me "Ichie". Haha!
--> Alecs and her Tatay. =)
--> Ate Mitzi! ^__^
--> Alecs was really cute even though she had chicken pox. [I think.]

--> Mamay Bimbo! He's my grandfather's brother. Could you believe that?!
--> My sister is out of her mind! She took a photo without my face!
--> Smile. =) My hair... is kind of messed up. ^__^
--> My cousin, Von. ^___^
--> Clarisa together with Ate Mitzi, Alecs, and Kuya Denver!

--> I jumped to the pool as soon as we got there! =)

--> Tita Marlyn. She's a good family friend. ^__^
--> Caught on action! Haha!
--> Alecs was so young then. She has chicken pox, I think.
--> He's my brother. Haha! He's "nabano" sa motor boat! Toink!

I was browsing through the pictures in our PC again and I was happy to find these ones. I love all of them. Memories. As my sister says, periods matter. Time flies so fast and I have just realized that it has been two years already. I'm looking forward for another event like this, and for sure, I'd bring my camera with me. (^__^)