Clarisa is not herself lately.

I'll be very honest with you. I haven't been myself for days. I've been changing and too bad, I think it's for the worse. Darn! [I just learned it's not a form of blasphemy or profanity or anything like that, because it's an interjection. So, just so you know, I'd use it from now on.] Okay, I really think I'm becoming a person I don't want to be. I'm becoming really sad - which is unforgivable to me. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I haven't been sad or the like. I have been, yes. But, I never felt this way. I've never been this sad. The long-term one. When I become sad, one simple thing can make me happy. But now, things are completely different. I can't be happy. I tend to smile, laugh. But, that's it. That's JUST it. My friends often try to make me smile. I do, for their sake. I'm becoming pretentious. I despise myself. I resent myself. I hate myself. Only the few of the fewest know what's been bothering me. It's nothing related to matters of the heart or family or friends or grades - which are usually the cause of my desolation. It's just about me. I don't know what's happening to me.