I really don't know why I'm writing about this. Maybe... because I was thinking so hard my mind couldn't bear it anymore. :p Kidding aside, well, I was really thinking. You know, about things. Questions... wandering around my head.
Last night, I slept restlessly. I don't know why. Maybe because I had tons of things to do... or, maybe because I was thinking again. What was it I was thinking about? Many things, actually but one thing reigns.
Last night, I slept restlessly. I don't know why. Maybe because I had tons of things to do... or, maybe because I was thinking again. What was it I was thinking about? Many things, actually but one thing reigns.
Why do people misjudge and misunderstand me?
Sa totoo lang, 'di ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit. Gusto mo ba malaman kung anong nangyari?
Last Friday, July 18, we had an open forum. Our main objective was to know our positive traits and negative traits. We finished at around 5 pm. Well, it went smoothly. Everything turned out well.
MAINGAY naman talaga ako. IYAKIN din. I admit, I easily cry over things. COMPETITIVE. I am. Aminado naman ako. Alam ko rin na madali akong magalit. Lalo na kapag masama ang pakiramdam ko. MAKULIT naman talaga ako. Salamat sa mga nakakaintindi. Only, when I was reading my negative traits... 3 traits stroke me the most. OA, KSP, at grade-conscious.
Oo, aminado naman ako na grade-conscious ako. Sabi naman ng nanay ko, walang masama sa pagiging GC (grade-conscious). Kasi, kung grade-conscious ka, may pakielam ka sa mga grades mo, ayaw mo ng mapapabayaan. Kaya, hindi ko naman iniisip na masama ang maging ganun. Gusto nga i-raise ng nanay ko ang topic na 'yun sa mga teachers e. Wala naman talagang masama sa pagiging grade-conscious. Basta, dapat nasa tamang lugar. 'Di ba?
One more thing, if I happen to be too much grade-conscious, it is because I'm too tired of proving myself to other people. Sa totoo lang, pagod na pagod na ako. Ok lang naman sa'kin ang ma-kumpara sa ate ko. Ayaw ko lang ng pag-uusapan ako dahil hindi ko kayang lampasan o kahit pa pantayan lang ang mga nagawa n'ya. Ano naman? Iba-iba naman ang mga tao, 'di ba? Iba kami ng ate ko. Ewan ko lang ba kung bakit ganito ang buhay ko. Magulo.
Kung OA ako at KSP, e di sana sinabi n'yo na lang sa'kin. Sana naman 'wag n'yong itago. Parang ang plastik naman kasi ng dating kung hindi n'yo sinasabi sa'kin. My mother talked to me about this. Sabi n'ya natural lang daw, kasi defense mechanism ko daw 'yun. Sana pala lahat ng tao katulad ng nanay ko, na naiintindihan ako ng buong puso. If only...
Hindi masama ang loob ko sa mga kaklase ko. Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit hindi n'yo magawang sabihin HARAP-HARAPAN. Kailangan pa pala ng ganitong activity para malaman ko. Ano nga?
My life and experiences molded me to be what I am today... whether you like it or not, this is ME. I am willing to change. I am. The thing is, I can't change in just one snap of a finger.
I'm running out of things to say. Tears are already threatening to pour.
Sana magkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na sabihin lahat ng 'to sa Friday. Sana... :(
(This is, so far, the only post I spoke in our vernacular. This is also, so far, the only post I showed how hurt I hurt I was already.)
Credits go to the people who understand my negative traits yet understand me with all their hearts: Raizza, Anne, Rishina, Jom, Karl, Danielle, Jessa, Thessa, Feliza, Patricia, Bianca, and all the people who I failed to mention but still helped me a lot.
Last Friday, July 18, we had an open forum. Our main objective was to know our positive traits and negative traits. We finished at around 5 pm. Well, it went smoothly. Everything turned out well.
MAINGAY naman talaga ako. IYAKIN din. I admit, I easily cry over things. COMPETITIVE. I am. Aminado naman ako. Alam ko rin na madali akong magalit. Lalo na kapag masama ang pakiramdam ko. MAKULIT naman talaga ako. Salamat sa mga nakakaintindi. Only, when I was reading my negative traits... 3 traits stroke me the most. OA, KSP, at grade-conscious.
Oo, aminado naman ako na grade-conscious ako. Sabi naman ng nanay ko, walang masama sa pagiging GC (grade-conscious). Kasi, kung grade-conscious ka, may pakielam ka sa mga grades mo, ayaw mo ng mapapabayaan. Kaya, hindi ko naman iniisip na masama ang maging ganun. Gusto nga i-raise ng nanay ko ang topic na 'yun sa mga teachers e. Wala naman talagang masama sa pagiging grade-conscious. Basta, dapat nasa tamang lugar. 'Di ba?
One more thing, if I happen to be too much grade-conscious, it is because I'm too tired of proving myself to other people. Sa totoo lang, pagod na pagod na ako. Ok lang naman sa'kin ang ma-kumpara sa ate ko. Ayaw ko lang ng pag-uusapan ako dahil hindi ko kayang lampasan o kahit pa pantayan lang ang mga nagawa n'ya. Ano naman? Iba-iba naman ang mga tao, 'di ba? Iba kami ng ate ko. Ewan ko lang ba kung bakit ganito ang buhay ko. Magulo.
Kung OA ako at KSP, e di sana sinabi n'yo na lang sa'kin. Sana naman 'wag n'yong itago. Parang ang plastik naman kasi ng dating kung hindi n'yo sinasabi sa'kin. My mother talked to me about this. Sabi n'ya natural lang daw, kasi defense mechanism ko daw 'yun. Sana pala lahat ng tao katulad ng nanay ko, na naiintindihan ako ng buong puso. If only...
Hindi masama ang loob ko sa mga kaklase ko. Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit hindi n'yo magawang sabihin HARAP-HARAPAN. Kailangan pa pala ng ganitong activity para malaman ko. Ano nga?
My life and experiences molded me to be what I am today... whether you like it or not, this is ME. I am willing to change. I am. The thing is, I can't change in just one snap of a finger.
I'm running out of things to say. Tears are already threatening to pour.
Sana magkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na sabihin lahat ng 'to sa Friday. Sana... :(
(This is, so far, the only post I spoke in our vernacular. This is also, so far, the only post I showed how hurt I hurt I was already.)
Credits go to the people who understand my negative traits yet understand me with all their hearts: Raizza, Anne, Rishina, Jom, Karl, Danielle, Jessa, Thessa, Feliza, Patricia, Bianca, and all the people who I failed to mention but still helped me a lot.
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